The Way of the Guide: Chapter 1

The Way of The Guide
A interpretation of all things in the outdoor lifestyle.

Chapter 1: The Werd

Play: 3.exercise or activity for amusement or recreation.

"Backpacking: several days of opening and closing your backpack."

"Anywhere is within walking distance, if you have time."

"That's a first ascent."

"Happiness is the journey, man."

"If you're having trouble finding the path, that's good."

"Oh man... I need to do some yoga..."

"Got a Cliff Bar?"

"It's super lightweight, lightest version yet."

"Gotta keep up those electrolytes!"

"I'm a gear junkie."

"I speak 1 language, wild."

"That line's cleaner than my mind."

"Summit pack? Um... Beer... and... a Cliff Bar?

"God I hate tourists. They don't make attempt to really get to know the places they visit."

"Naked slackline!"

"I love getting back to nature." (while playing Angry Birds on iPhone)

"All I want is nice jugs all day." (Jugs: big perfect handholds... on the rock face... no really!)

"Leave No Trace, pack in pack out."

"East Coast Hang!" (speaking about the bear bag)

"Check out my new FiveFingers dude."

"Got chalk?"

"I like to toss up my hammock and hang out."

"Hardwood bro, can't have a good fire without hardwood."

"Shake my junk to see if it's fitting right." (in speaking about the backpack being purchased)

"What's the difference between the homeless and a hiker? Gore-Tex!"

"I have a leatherman, I can help."

"Got an extra Cliff Bar?"

"900 fill, -20 F, 1.5 lbs"

"Smells like fresh gnar!"

"Just one more mile." (repeatedly said every mile)

"I like to bag a couple 14'rs on the weekends."

"If you try to speak the local language the people love you."

"Pass the Nalgene."

"Epic beard bro."

"It's 440 carbon surgical steel. Like, we could totally do surgery on you right now."

"I love all of nature's creations." *slaps mosquito*

"It's Eco-friendly!"

"It's titanium"

"Stoked"

"Don't forget the TP!"

"It's a two-person, but it feels more like a 3-person."

"Altitude sickness is nature's way of telling you to stop being a wuss and climb more often."

"Cliff-diving is totally an extreme sport!"

"I'm an environmentalist." *burns plastic food bag*

"Coffee isn't a luxery, it's neccessity."

"Worst time to have to go #2... ever."

"Anyone need a Cliff Bar?"

"I took some epic photos, and then I dropped my camera down the falls."

"Recovery: The first shower and beer after your journey."

"Found out it was poison ivy, in the worst place possible."

"Toolkit? Leatherman and Duck Tape."

"Hike faster... I hear banjo."

"My dog has his own backpack, cause I ain't carrying his shit!"

"I'm packing in like 3K calories a day. Don't judge me."

"Sky-diving takes a lot of airplane fuel to do. I'm reducing my carbon footprint by basejumping."

"Trail mix is the lazy hikers kitchen."

"Do you speak english?"

"I'm never drinking again..." *beer in hand an hour later*

"It just spoke to me and I knew I had to go."

"Summercamp!!!"

"Lost another lighter, that's like the 5th one this week!"

"Got any water?"

"Sick!"

"Breath dude!"

*giggling*

"Where did I put my teeeeeennnt?"

"Where's the zipper?"

*belch*

"Fresh."

"5/10 is so overated."

"This line's too tight."

"Dude I was THAT close!"

"Sketchy."

"Dude, was that class 5?"

"Can you get me a pro-deal on that?"

"So can you send me those pics for my blog?

"So we cool to split gas?"

"Their rubber's shit."

"Did you see me nail that move?"

"Can we put some dubstep on dude?!"

"Should we synchronize watches? 3...2...1... oh shit, lets do it again."

"Engage your core bro."

"Good session guys, good session."

"Got any extra wax?"

"Are you sponsored?!"

"Dropping in!"

"I'm just not feeling it today dude, I don't know what's wrong."

"Bro"
"Bro"
"Bro"

"Cliff Bar?"

"Where's my paracord?!"

"So gnarley."

"Can I get a RedBull?"

Shart – When you attempt to fart but follow through.

The Bible – A guide book.

Tree Huggers – Environmentalist.

Virgin – Just entered a new country.

I.N.D.I.A. – I will, Never, Do, It Again.

Brah – Slang for saying bro or brother.